God creating One Direction
God: you know how we made females bleed out their vaginas that make them strong
Jesus: yeah
God: well it didn't work
Jesus: what do you mean
Jesus: they cry and break out and gain 5 pounds once a month
Jesus: isn't that enough
God: no
Jesus: ....
God: we must make them stronger
Jesus: but it's too late no-
God: no
God: we'll create five superior beings
Jesus: what is tha-
God: listen jesus
God: we'll use a whole bottle of essence of sexy on one
Jesus: that sounds risky don't you t-
God: listen
God: a whole bottle of adorable extract on another
God: half a bottle of rainbow oil and dried puppies on the third
God: on the fourth we'll use the last of the 'you me bed now' syrup
Jesus: ....
Jesus: .... and the fifth?
God: sassy potion
Jesus: .... okay .... but how will this make them stronger?
God: we'll add one musical steroid to each
Jesus: i still don't see...
God: they'll be homosexual
Jesus: ah very clever
God: do you see now
Jesus: yes
Jesus: the survivors will be indestructible
God: i'm brilliant
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